Of lettuces, lecterns and loot

 

During the final week or so of her ill-fated appointment as our Prime Minister, Liz Truss was rather unkindly compared to a lettuce. The question was whether the lettuce, which has a short shelf life, would wilt before she resigned. Liz lost; lettuce won. She was Prime Minister for 45 days, the shortest tenure ever.

 

The Truss lectern

On the day of her resignation, her lectern was set up outside 10 Downing Street, for her final speech before she left to meet the King to offer her resignation. Her successor, Rishi Sunak, was chosen so swiftly that a lectern had to be found in some obscure store room. For, it turned out, each Prime Minister is entitled to a lectern designed to her/his specification. “Dishy” Rishi had become Prime Minister so quickly that he had not yet found time to turn his attention to the important matter of his lectern design.

 

The Theresa May lectern

We Brits like to pretend that we are a country of long-established and honoured tradition. Usually, however, “ancient” traditions turn out to be quite recent inventions to meet a pressing political/public relations need, or simply to satisfy someone’s vanity. I had read that he Prime Ministerial lectern tradition was invented in 2010 by David Cameron, a vain man who valued appearances above all else. Since three of his four (yes, four Prime Ministers since 2016) successors similarly felt that a personalized lectern was essential to the proper functioning of the state, a sizeable lectern market has been created. However, a brief search revealed that Tony Blair and Gordon Brown both had their own lecterns, although the Brown lectern looks as if it came from Ikea or Office Depot.

The Blair lectern

 

The Brown lectern

The Cameron lectern

 

The Johnson lectern

Ms Truss’ brief period in office entitles her to a number of other benefits. For example, she will receive £115,000 per year in perpetuity Since she is 47 years old, this might well add up to a handy £4 .6 million or so. She also receives a chauffeur driven car and a permanent security detail. No doubt the latter is required for her future safety, but I recall organizing publishing events for retired Prime Minister Harold Macmillan in the 1980s. When one venue asked how many security guards would come with Mr Macmillan, his office told me he would have none. So, had anyone attempted to assassinate him, his only protection would have been a youthful Ian Jacobs. Times have changed.

 

Finally, every Prime Minister is entitled to appoint those they wish to reward with a resignation honour, including a perpetual seat in the House of Lords. One wonders if Ms Truss’ closest ally, Kwasi Kwarteng, the author of the disastrous financial plan that brought her down, might be elevated to a fancy title to compensate for his frustrated political ambitions.

 

The lettuce will probably wait in vain for an honour. I welcome suggestion fo what might be a suitable reward for the vegetable.